


Hell Hath No Fury Like Alfred's Scorn

by Gothic_Lolita



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Justice League - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: A very pissed off Alfred, Cockblocking, Crack, Fluff, I'm Sorry, Interrupting Alfred, M/M, Morning After, Well he didn't mean it, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 03:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10800609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gothic_Lolita/pseuds/Gothic_Lolita
Summary: Morning after breakfast for Bruce and Clark leads to a failed attempt for morning after sex; that is interrupted by a very upset butler.





	Hell Hath No Fury Like Alfred's Scorn

**Author's Note:**

> Looks like I'm doing this again. It's Alfred's turn to be the cockblocker, and he most certainly is not thrilled. #SorryNotSorry

Bruce woke up with a groan. He was still slightly sore from last night's... _ **activities**_ with Clark. Clark. The very man who was **_not_** in bed with him at the moment. Bruce sighed and pulled himself out of bed. Clark wouldn't have left without telling him, so the task was to find his boyfriend.

Bruce pulled on a fluffy robe and left his master bedroom. He heard some noise coming from the kitchen so he stumbled his way towards that direction.

Bruce found Clark in the midst of making some sort of breakfast and humming softly to himself. Bruce smiled to himself, the sight of his boyfriend attempting to be domesticated was more heart warming to the Dark Knight than he would ever dare to admit.

"Good morning, Bruce." Clark said cheerfully, turning to face the billionaire.

Bruce folded his arms and leaned against the wall. "What exactly are you making, Clark?" He asked, with a cocked eyebrow.

Clark offered Bruce one of his unintentionally goofiest grins.  "I was just making up whatever breakfast foods I found. Currently, it's eggs and bacon." He explained.

Bruce chuckled and shook his head. "I was thinking about having... _**something else**_ for breakfast." His voice was suggestive enough for the Man Of Steel to catch on.

Clark's cheeks slightly colored. Bruce half wondered if his boy scout would ever not be embarrassed by the mention of sex, no many how many times they did it together.

_**"Bruce."**_ Clark scolded. "You need actual food for breakfast."

Bruce offered his kryptonian the Bruce Wayne playboy smirk that had the ability to get most of the world hot and bothered, Clark included. "I don't know, _ **Kal**_. You do look particularly _**appetizing**_ right now." He spoke deeply.

It amused Bruce how Clark's face flushed with a rosy red and yet at the same time blood clearly rushed south, as visible by the Man Of Steel's growing **_problem_**.

"Bruce!" Clark managed.

Bruce walked across the kitchen until his face was inches away from Clark's. "Yes?" He whispered, leaning forward. 

Bruce knew exactly how to turn Clark on and it never failed to get results. Clark grabbed Bruce and kissed him deeply, spinning Bruce around until the Caped Crusader was up against the countertop. Bruce jumped up onto it, pushing his robe out of the way so his bare ass was against the cool stone countertop.

Clark moaned softly into the kiss and pushed the robe off of Bruce's shoulders while Bruce unbuttoned Clark's shirt and let the Man Of Steel take it off when he was done. Bruce slid his hand down Clark's navel and began to dip lower when there was a clang.

The lovers pulled apart to see a very red faced Alfred who had just dropped a platter with tea taking in the scene before his eyes. Bruce, wearing nothing but a robe that was barely on him and concealing none of the essentials, and a shirtless Clark who had Bruce's legs wound around his waist.

" _ **Master Bruce!**_ " Alfred nearly shouted, looking as offended as Bruce had ever seen, which was a feat considering some of the things Alfred had walked in during his years at the Wayne Manor.

"A-Alfred." Clark stuttered out. "I can explain-"

"There is no explanation to be had, Mister Kent!" Alfred stated shrilly. 

Bruce scowled. "Alfred it's not that bad, I'm allowed to be with another man." He ground out, shocked and a bit taken back by Alfred's disdain.

Alfred scoffed. "Master Bruce, with all due respect, I've been aware of you seeing Mister Kent for quite some time now and I have no problem with it and even if I did, it is of none of my concern." Alfred said in his most polite and clipped voice. "What I do however have a problem with, is you two... _**copulating**_ in my ** _kitchen!_** Master Bruce, your bare... bare buttocks are on my **_countertop!_ ** I make food their!" Alfred sounded a mixture between mortified and indignant.

Bruce snorted outright once realizing that Alfred's scorn had nothing to do with their relationship, and everything to do with them soiling his precious kitchen. Clark looked slightly relieved, but still red-faced.

"It's fine Alfred, I'll wipe everything down." Bruce managed while containing his laughter. He felt like a teenager who had just been caught by his parents, and the thought amused him to no end.

Alfred huffed. "You most certainly will _ **not!**_ I will tend to this matter myself, thank you very much!" Alfred sassed with as much sass as a British butler of his age could have, which was surprisingly a lot. "Now please take your affairs elsewhere, so I can cleanse this kitchen of your _**activities.**_ " Alfred ordered.

Bruce snorted again and jumped off the countertop. "Of course Alfred." He said pulling the still flustered Clark out of the kitchen. He paused in the doorway. "Alfred? I really am sorry. I hope you can... forgive me." Bruce said, with a big grin on his face.

Alfred huffed once again. "Whatever you say Master Wayne. Now _**leave**_ so I can clean." He demanded.

Bruce chuckled and pulled Clark back to the bedroom to finish what they had started.

Alfred sighed and turned to the kitchen, shuddering at the thought of cleaning _**this**_ up. It wasn't so bad, he supposed. He had certainly dealt with worse jobs as a butler. He paused and let a small smile curl across his lips. He may or may not have been slightly amused by walking in on Bruce acting like a teenager with Clark, and he may have even found it heartwarming to know Bruce was happy with someone, male or not. And if this was true, well, that was going to be the butler's little secret. His secret indeed.


End file.
